16 posts tagged “ich”

that everything I say to you, everything I ask, is trite, fragile, irrelevant -- merely an excuse for words to pass between us.

People may say it a hundred times but you only really learn when you experience it yourself.

Today I found that something I'd been searching for for weeks -- metaphorically speaking -- has been right here under my nose all the time.

Maybe, just maybe, it could be true of other things as well, things I feel have been eluding me for years and lifetimes.

A couple days back a girl came up to me at dinner and said she'd been wanting to tell me something for ages, and had finally worked up the courage to spit it out. I was a little taken aback -- well, more like I wondered what I'd done now. Turns out she wanted to thank me. Profusely. For a compliment I paid her three years ago. "I've never forgotten it," she said. "You don't know what a difference it made to me."

I was so surprised, and so glad that I'd impacted someone's life thus. So glad to be remembered for a compliment I'd given, and not an insult, because insults are what stay put in our heads forever, aren't they? I've forgotten so many nice things people have said to me while I carry around the nasty stuff and gossip I'd heard and allow them to get to me when I'm particularly down.

If Ender Wiggins is right, and if we are only what we remember, then I can choose to cut those assholes out of my life by not remembering how they hurt me and how badly their words still smart. True or not, insults are painful. I know, I know, "Sticks and stones..." but I've never been able to implement that.

It is so important to be careful and caring when dealing with other human beings. I have a famously short temper, and sometimes end up saying things I truly regret. I don't find it hard to apologise, though, so that's a saving grace -- but I wonder how many people think of me and then immediately remember something snappy or unkind I might have said to them.

I'm not sure one can ever wipe the slate clean, you know. Once the words are out, the damage is done. You are changed forever, whether you are speaker or audience. So I'm not sure I am only what I remember. I think.. I suspect, I might also be what I choose to forget.

People do many different things to cope with stress, loss, and "bumps in the road". How do you handle stress and hard times? 
Submitted by RedlyGal. 

Sleep. Escape from it all as long as you can. The world can fucking wait.

What are five things you take for granted? 
Submitted by meowkitty.

1. My parents
2. Money
3. Youth
4. Cosmic intervention, some sort of Divine Plan
5. Physical faculties -- especially the five senses -- and general health

This was an interesting question because it really got me thinking about my life and the way I lead it.

What are your deal breakers in a relationship?

In no particular order

Cheating/disloyalty/violence of any sort, obviously. I'm not one of those excessively possessive types but nevertheless I really don't appreciate the man flirting with other women.

Lying. White lies are understandable depending on the circumstances but otherwise lying even about small things reflects a lack of comfort in the vibe between two people.

Excessive religiosity. I really can't adjust to rituals and/or reliance upon divinity to get you through every tough situation. And I get murderous if someone tries to force religion on me.

Cruelty to animals. I'm not a crazy animal lover but that's more because I've never had a pet. I believe they must be treated with great care and kindness though and anyone who throws stones at cats or kicks dogs deserves similar treatment themselves.

Being rude to waiters, maids, cabin crew, chauffeurs etc. Anyone who's in your service and is relatively helpless against the manifestations of your damned ego. One of the first things I observe in any man is the way he treats those under him or in his pay.

Bad hygiene of any sort. I don't care how wonderful the man is, if he doesn't know how to keep clean, GOODBYE!

Tightfistedness. (If that wasn't a word, well, it is now, hee). There's no need to splurge your way through life but please, counting every penny when you don't really need to is just annoying. I like men who enjoy fine dining and nice holidays and the opera and theatre and things like that. Even if it can be managed only once in a while. Men who are generous enough to take their friends out to dinner once in a while, or pick up the tab as a surprise.

Of course, these rules work both ways. If I want my partner to possess these qualities I can't afford to lack them myself.

What's your favourite flavor of ice cream?

Classic favourites are butterscotch and cappuccino/coffee walnut. I usually don't like more complex flavours and definitely not when they're mixed together in stripes and suchlike. Also love gelato in all flavours except watermelon and whisky!

By the way, this QotD has the stupidest title ever. LOL.

But these maneuverings to avoid
The touching of hands,
These shifts to keep the eyes employed
On objects more or less neutral
(As honor, for the time being, commands)
Will hardly prevent their downfall.

Stronger medicines are needed.
Already they find
None of their stratagems have succeeded,
Nor would have, no,
Not had their eyes been stricken blind,
Hands cut off at the elbow.

- Donald Justice (1964)

For those who understand.

The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey – don't worry, don't be afraid ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because – it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

Bill Hicks

You've found the fabled pot o' gold.  How will you spend it?
Submitted by Red Pen.

On travelling, first and foremost, and on close family and friends, to fulfil dreams they'd never thought could come true. But I know I'd give away the rest. It drives me crazy that so much of the world lives in unimaginable poverty and sickness while a small percentage of people have wealth beyond measure and spend it on... Prada and buying islands in the Pacific. There's no harm in leading a luxurious life but helping those who have virtually nothing but the clothes on their back is just the decent thing to do, know what I mean. I really hope someday to have the means to do that.